If there’s one word that defines the parenting shift in this 21st century, it’s relationship. And at the heart of every healthy relationship—whether with a toddler, teen, or adult—is one essential element: mutual respect.Many of us were raised in homes where respect was demanded, not earned. Where children were expected to respect their parents, but the same was not always returned.
“Don’t talk back.”
“Because I said so.”
“You don’t have a say in this matter.”
These phrases shaped generations into silence, not strength. Into compliance, not connection.
But today, things have changed. And they should.
Respect Is No Longer a One-Way Street
In modern parenting, influence is not automatic. Authority is not assumed. And respect is not inherited—it’s cultivated.
If you want your child to listen to you, they must feel that you value their voice.
If you want them to respect your opinions, they must see that you also respect their individuality—even when you disagree.
What Mutual Respect Looks Like in Practice
1. Listening Without Interrupting
It’s tempting to cut off your teen mid-sentence, especially when their opinion seems immature or illogical. But when we do that, we send one clear message: “What you think doesn’t matter.”
True respect means letting them finish. And then responding with thought, not just authority.
2. Correcting Without Shaming
Yes, young adults need correction. But how we correct matters. Sarcasm, shouting, or public embarrassment do more harm than good. Discipline should guide, not humiliate.
Respect says: “You made a mistake—but you are not a mistake.”
3. Being Open to Feedback
This one’s tough for many parents. We expect our children to listen to correction—but what happens when they try to correct us?
A respectful parent says, “Thank you for pointing that out. I’ll think about it.”
This models humility—and invites growth on both sides.
4. Respecting Their Boundaries
As children grow, they begin to define their space, interests, and emotional needs. Respect means acknowledging their right to privacy, their preferences, and even their pace.
You can still set expectations—but not at the cost of crushing their individuality.
Respect Builds Influence
Influence in the 21st century is not enforced—it’s earned.
And mutual respect is the currency.
When children feel respected, they:
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Open up more
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Argue less
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Confide in you during crisis
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Carry your values forward—not out of fear, but from conviction
Respect Is Not the Same as Agreement
Let’s be clear: Respecting your child doesn’t mean you’ll always agree. But it does mean you handle disagreements with dignity.
You can say:
“I hear what you're saying. I don’t fully agree, but I’m glad you shared that with me.”
That response keeps the door open. It tells your child: “This is a safe space for honest conversations.”
And that, more than anything, strengthens your influence.
Respect is not a weakness—it is a strength. It is not surrender—it is strategy. It is not letting go of authority—it is transforming it into influence.
When children respect you because they trust you—not because they fear you—you haven’t lost your power.
You’ve multiplied it.
To be continued...
Written By Ayodele Ogunleye