Parenting in the 21st Century (Part 2): The Power of Listening

Parenting in the 21st Century (Part 2): The Power of Listening

In the first part of this series, we highlighted the need to replace the concept of control with guidance when parenting today’s teenagers and young adults. Now, let’s go deeper into one of the most powerful tools for building connection: listening.

One of the most common complaints among young people today is,

“My parents don’t listen to me.”

But many parents believe they are listening—after all, they hear their children speak. However, there’s a big difference between hearing and listening.

Hearing is passive. You’re simply aware of sounds or words being spoken.
Listening is active. It involves empathy, curiosity, patience, and a willingness to understand.

In today’s fast-paced world, where teens are dealing with overwhelming amounts of information, social pressure, and identity exploration, being heard can feel like lifeblood. They need someone who listens without immediately interrupting, correcting, or dismissing.

When parents listen:

• Young adults feel respected and valued.

• Trust is built, not demanded.

• They are more likely to open up about challenges, choices, and even mistakes.

• Parents gain insight into their child’s world, which helps guide them better.

It's not always easy. Sometimes what they say may shock or disappoint us. But listening doesn’t mean agreeing—it means engaging without judgment in order to influence with wisdom rather than force.

In this generation, true influence begins with intentional listening.

Let’s ask ourselves:

• Do I give my child the space to speak freely?

• Do I pause my opinions long enough to hear theirs fully?

• Do I make them feel safe enough to be honest with me?

The ears of a parent are one of the greatest gifts a child can receive.

To be continued...

By Ayodele Ogunleye